Tie a Yellow Ribbon
by Leon Suprenant

Maureen and I were married on February 2, 1991, during the Gulf War. At that time, people were tying yellow ribbons everywhere as a reminder of our loved ones who were away at war. We all needed reassurance during this time of conflict and uncertainty.

The homilist at our wedding told us that our marriage needed to be a yellow ribbon, a witness to life and love amidst the hatred, despair, and death we saw around us. We were newlyweds when the Gulf War ended, and now our nation is embroiled in a more threatening and complex war against international terrorism.

Meanwhile, Maureen and I have quietly lived our marriage vows for nearly 11 years. We hear our Holy Father telling us over and over again that civilization passes by way of the family. We are far from perfect, but we have taken seriously the challenge we received at our wedding-a challenge issued to all Christian families-to be joyful witnesses to Christ in the midst of the world. In that vein, I'd like to share with you this "yellow ribbon" story.

All in the Family

The Lord has abundantly blessed our marriage with children. We have four beautiful daughters (they take after their mother) and 13 godchildren. We've welcomed at different times many other into our home, including our elderly parents, siblings, and college students. I thank the Lord every day for the singular gift of our family, our little domestic Church.

Yet we've also endured times of sorrow. Maureen has had six pregnancies end in miscarriage, including the last three. Many or our readers have experienced miscarriages and know what a cross they can be. After all, here we are in a contraceptive society, in a "culture of death," willing to accept new life, only to have the child taken from us before we can even hold him or her. We've entrusted our miscarried children-Perpetua, Felicity, Raymond, Monica, Barnabas, and Margaret-to our merciful Father, trusting amidst the tears that these tragedies are part of a larger, more glorious plan.

Family life isn't a game in which the players with the most children at the end of the game win. Yet Maureen and I wanted to be as open as possible to the Lord's blessing. We have always considered adopting at some point, and after much of the pain from the miscarriages subsided, we realized that we had room in our hearts and our home for another child. So we took the next step . . .

Open to Life

We didn't have the money to go through an expensive agency. Further, we weren't looking for a "designer baby" with all the "right" qualities. We simply wanted to be open to accept whatever gift the Lord would want for us. Here's what we did.

Last February we went through 36 hours of "training" through the county to become certified as foster/adoptive parents. We also went through a home study, in which a social worker prepares a comprehensive report concerning the suitability of an adoptive family. We figured that by going through these at times onerous steps, we would be ready to act quickly should a child become available.

We had our home study sent to various Catholic Charities offices in our region. We expressed a willingness to consider any age, race, gender, or special needs, but we hoped for a younger child so that there would be a better chance of forming good attachments. We made ourselves available, and now we had to wait.

Welcome, Samuel!

One morning last September, months after completing our home study, Maureen commented to me how nice it would be to have a son. I nodded as I left for the CUF office. Later in the day, I had slipped out of the office to go to our parish's adoration chapel to prepare for a talk I was going to give that weekend. While I was there Maureen and my three youngest daughters tracked me down. They told me that we just received a call from Catholic Charities of Pittsburgh. We were going to be able to adopt a baby boy!

The baby was only two months old. Interestingly, the foster parents were calling him Samuel. I would have been inclined to go along with a noble biblical name like Samuel anyway, but remarkably I happened to be studying the book of 2 Samuel when I received the happy news from Maureen. Only later did I learn that Samuel John's birthday was June 24th, the feast of the birth of John the Baptist, the new Samuel. (I do assure Maureen that she's considerably younger than St. Elizabeth!)

Baby Samuel has quickly become an integral part of our family. I couldn't imagine a biological child being more loved and accepted by his or her family. We have much to teach Samuel, but he has already taught us so much. For one thing, his pleasant disposition and his "I'm just happy to be here" smile continually calls us to gratitude for God's gifts and to put our worldly concerns in perspective. Further, his addition to our family has been a concrete lesson on the gift of adoption that all of us received at Baptism. We are not second class citizens but truly children of God. "See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are" (1 Jn. 3:1). As we rejoice in the expansion of our little family, even more does Our Heavenly Father take delight in sharing His glory with the creatures He has fashioned in His image and likeness.

Ambassadors of Hope

Samuel's story would not be possible without a whole network of people who were committed to the Gospel of life. I'm thinking of the various social workers and Catholic Charities personnel, Samuel's loving foster parents, and our many family members and friends who have stormed heaven with their prayers and who have materially helped us in myriad ways. Above all, my heart goes out to Samuel's birth mother. She read our anonymous "birth parent letter" and chose our family for her child. I pray with utmost confidence that Our Lord will bless her heroic generosity and draw her closely to Himself.

I think we need to proclaim these little pro-life "success stories" to our contemporaries. In a world largely overcome with despair, we must be ambassadors of a supernatural hope rooted in the goodness and promises of the Lord of life. We need to cooperate with the spirit of adoption we've received to give flesh to the words of our resurrected Lord on Easter Sunday: "Do not be afraid" (Mt. 28:10) and "Peace be with you" (Jn. 20:19).

The new millennium poses new challenges in addition to more perennial life issues such as abortion and euthanasia. How do we wage a just war against terrorism? (p. 8). How should a Catholic approach the issue of embryonic stem cell research? (p. 27). What about cloning, or the further development of life-saving vaccines through the use of aborted fetal tissue? More fundamentally, how do we find peace amidst the senseless, catastrophic violence around us?

We know that Jesus Christ and His Church is the world's salvation and hope, and in the power of the Holy Spirit we are able to tell one another and the world "Do not be afraid."

Finally, I think it's fitting to note the passing of an unsung hero, John Summe (p. 12). John gave the past 30 years of his life to the Church through his active involvement in the CUF apostolate. He certainly has been a father figure and an inspirational "yellow ribbon" in my life. May this good and faithful servant now enjoy his heavenly prize.

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