In Thanksgiving
How God Answered My Prayer for Healing
by Bill Zalot

In September of 1998, an article I had written entitled “But I Asked to Be Healed” (read article here) was published in New Covenant magazine. In that article, I examined various healings recorded in Sacred Scripture that Jesus had performed, but I looked at them from a unique perspective: that view from the eyes of someone who has a physical disability. As a man with spastic cerebral palsy—I use a wheelchair for mobility—I have always been deeply moved by these stories.

I can honestly say that the reflection and self-examination that was necessary to complete the feature changed my life! I no longer ask, “Why can’t I be healed?” The truth is that I have met so many wonderful people as a result of my disability, whether I get cured or not now seems insignificant. I still love to read about the miracles of Christ, but now I see how often the healing was connected with forgiveness. In place of asking for a physical healing, these days I ask for the ability to live the challenge Jesus gave us in the “Our Father.”

For me, that challenge is to refrain from judging the nine lepers who did not come back to thank Jesus for healing them (see Lk. 17:11–19). I used to be critical of the cured lepers that did not give thanks, but then I thought, “How many times have I rushed out of Mass without proper reflection? How many times have I thoughtlessly spoken in less than a whisper, forgetting that Christ is in the tabernacle? Did I not display a sign of being as ungrateful as those nine lepers who did not give thanks?”

Today, I am still critical, not so much at others, but at my own motives for doing things. As I reread the story published in September of 1998, I see a young woman, Nancy, mentioned in the feature. As I recall, she was the real reason I went to the prayer meeting; I wanted to impress her more than I wanted to honor God. Today I realize what God did through her.

A Look Back
When I met Nancy back in September of 1979, I would have followed her anywhere. She was a dynamic young Catholic woman who was actively involved in the Newman Center at a nearby college, and I was a “cradle Catholic” who, prior to that time, only lived my faith on Sundays. One afternoon, as we were leaving the Newman Center together, Nancy asked me if I wanted to go to a prayer meeting with her later that evening at St. Agnes Church. I gave a resounding “yes!” (As one can see, my motives weren’t the highest at the time, but God worked with that just the same.)

As a few of Nancy’s friends carried me up several flights of stairs that night, I was sure I knew what the paralytic from Luke 5:17–26 must have felt when he was carried up to the top of that house to be lowered through the roof. I could almost hear his friends saying, “If this doesn’t work, we’ll break our backs for nothing.” Indeed, this is exactly what Nancy’s friends were saying as they carried me.

I wasn’t healed that night.

A Deeper Healing
I used to empathize with those men and the paralytic in the story, feeling that if I weren’t healed, all of this would be for nothing. Hogwash! I now know that if God had healed me that night, I may have won Nancy over. Instead, over a short period of time, this remarkable young woman and the students and staff of the Newman Center won me over for Christ and His Church. This woman got me to attend daily Mass and receive Jesus daily in the Eucharist. Through her efforts, as well as those of the Holy Spirit, my view of God was transformed from an angry God, to a God rich in mercy.

I wasn’t healed that night, at least not in the way I was expecting. I did not get what I wanted, but I have come to the point where I now want what God wants for me. And that, my friends, has been the core of a true spiritual healing.
Jesus heals people. And the stories of miracles have always lifted my spirits. For so many years, the desire to be healed was so deep in my heart. Today, I realize how God answered that prayer.

In my original article, I concluded with a prayer for those of us who have visible crosses. However, our God is the God of all. Therefore, I feel it is a must to include all of us, who live with crosses both visible and invisible. May all of us who are in the Body of Christ realize this: “On him lies a punishment that brings us peace, and through his wounds we are healed” (Is. 53:5).

Bill Zalot is a freelance writer. He currently resides in Levittown, PA.

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