In Medias Res

The Eighth Station: Jesus Consoles the Women

by Rebecca Lomas Gonzales

During Lent, as we stand at the eighth Station of the Cross we hear how Jesus consoled the weeping women on his way to Calvary: “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children” (Lk. 23:28). But we rarely hear the rest of what Jesus said to the women. He said, “The days are coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never gave suck!’ Then they will begin to say to the mountains, ‘Fall on us’; and to the hills, ‘Cover us.’ For if they do this when the wood is green, what will happen when it is dry?’” (Lk. 23:29–31).

When Jesus spoke of the green wood, was he talking about spring, when flowers begin to bloom? If we fail to have children in the springtime of our lives when the time is right, what will happen in the dry wood, when conditions are not good? The women of Jerusalem probably had large families, as did some of our most recent ancestors, so Jesus was definitely referring to some future point in time.

We seem to be living in such times, when society often tells us that the fewer children we have, the happier we will be. Let’s face it—most of us who are now older were led to focus more on materialism and self-fulfillment. Do we want the same for our children? Surely, wealth of itself is not a detriment, especially if it is used wisely and for good; and God does not expect us to bury our talents and individual interests.

We all have a responsibility to God, to ourselves, and to others. But God made men and women with certain purposes in mind, and we often go to great lengths to negate those purposes. And it does take both men and women to keep family commitments. There are also sincere couples who have never been able to bear children, or who have lost a child. Such situations are in God’s hands.

Ironically, adoptions now cost as much as a luxury car and the waiting lists are long—almost like waiting for a medical organ transplant. I have known women who have become despondent because they are unable to bear children and unable to adopt. But there is reason for hope in the pro-life cause, so valiantly undertaken by the Catholic Church, and in God’s promise to fill a person with a peace “which passes all understanding” in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:7).

The so-called sexual revolution of the 1960s opened the door to behaviors that led, not to more stability in marriage, but to more breakdowns. Pope Paul VI warned that artificial contraception, which the world saw as a “good,” would actually lead to a greater disrespect for life, as in abortion. Padre Alberto Cutie, the host of a Spanish talk show and frequent guest of Eternal Word Television Network, says that there is a lot of sex in our world, but very little love. Family life is increasingly being threatened by lack of commitment and by offenses against the dignity of marriage.

What does the Church teach regarding marriage and children? If we refer to the longstanding wisdom of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, in paragraph 2367 we will see that we are called to give life and to share in God’s creative power “with a sense of human and Christian responsibility.”

The Church recognizes that spouses may wish to space the births of their children for just reasons, including the number of children they can handle responsibly. But the driving force should not be motivated by selfishness. The Church cares about responsible parenthood, whether there is one child or 12 in a family—a challenge that brings rewards and blessings. “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well” (Mt. 6:33).

In spacing the birth of children, the Church considers the drug-free method of Natural Family Planning (NFP) as morally in union with God’s natural design—that conception occurs only during certain periods. This fosters respect and love for each spouse’s mind and body, while maintaining respect for God’s natural law of love.

The use of artificial contraception means closing ourselves off, in an unnatural way, to God’s law of life and love. Statistics show, nonetheless, that over half of all married Catholics use artificial contraception. But couples can look to NFP through courses sponsored by a diocese or on Catholic websites.

Yes, it takes two to tango, and sometimes couples may disagree on the issue of practicing NFP. Isn’t it funny, though, that couples can agree on other major issues, such as housing and what type of car to buy? Agreeing to practice natural family planning may just require the same type of open discussion and negotiation, whether it is initiated by the husband or the wife.

As I was leaving the church hall recently, a young man came up to me. He asked if I knew where the NFP starting-course was being held that evening. To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised that a young husband would be the one taking the initiative!

A priest who gave a Lenten Mission said, “What would the world be like if everyone had God in their lives?” Life would be even greater! If we personally feel we have not always been faithful to God, we can be hopeful that God can fill any void that we might feel, when we surrender. He is a God of mercy who forgives us and loves us. And somehow, he will give us the grace to do more with less.

It takes courage to really live, and to live according to God’s laws, which the Bible says is true freedom. Deuteronomy 30:19 tells us to choose life and follow God’s commands, so that we may live. In the long run, it is not harder to live according to God’s laws, but easier to live in peace.

Rebecca Lomas Gonzales is chair of CUF’s Our Lady of Guadalupe Chapter in Rio Grande Valley, Texas.

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