How Many Priests Can You Fit at the Table for Dinner?

Mary Ann Kuharski
From the May/Jun 2003 Issue of Lay Witness Magazine

“So how many priests were at the dinner table this Easter?” our son Tony recently asked when he called home.

It’s not such an unusual question in our family, because the kids know that if there’s an opportunity to invite a seminarian or priest over, I will. It doesn’t hurt that we live just down the street from the church and that often the priests or visiting seminarians walk or jog right past our kitchen window.

“I think Fr. Johnson walks extra slow when he gets to our house—just knowing you’ll invite him in if you see him!” Kari, 20, says laughingly. Not to be outdone in the “teasing department,” Fr. Johnson teases back, “I only come to make sure Kari has enough dishes to wash” (not her favorite chore).

There’s no denying it. This family has a special place in our hearts for priests! Let’s face it, anyone who can survive a meal with 15 hungry Kuharskis deserves a special place!

I realized that our kids had an unrealistic impression of the priesthood when our son Charlie (then six) asked after Mass one Sunday, “Does the priest ever get to leave the Church? I sure wouldn’t want to be a priest. They must not have any fun!”

Charlie was right. If we ever wanted to promote the priesthood in our family that impression would have to change. Our children didn’t really know—except for Sunday Mass—any priests or sisters. And so we resolved to get to know some priests—and what better, more casual (you can say that again!) way than at the dinner table?

I quickly realized that it mattered little to them if our home was pictureperfect or the entrée was gourmet, our priestly guests were delighted to be invited and were great company! Our kids soon became accustomed to having seminarians and priests around, enjoying an evening with the family, playing board games or cards, shooting “hoops” in the backyard, or just sharing laughs over an old movie from my vintage movie collection.

And when sickness or trouble comes along, as it inevitably does, we’ve felt the consolation and prayers of those same priests.

Fr. Mark Dosh has been a close family friend since the first moment he knocked on my front door and offered a personal donation for the pro-life work I was doing. He sat at my kitchen table talking politics and issues almost oblivious to the children and “creative” chaos around us. Growing up the youngest of six, Father said he was at home with the noise and interruptions.

Fr. Dosh is known in more scholarly circles as the former seminary philosophy professor and bioethics consultant on medical/moral issues. But to the Kuharskis, he is known and best loved for his wonderful wit and competitive spirit—especially when it involved board games or cards.

“Fr. Dosh always hums one of his tunes as we’re playing a game, and we always suspect he has a good move coming up when his humming gets louder,” Chrissy, our eldest daughter said. “But, we’re on to him!”

Fr. Mark Huberty began his first years as a newly ordained priest at our church, and will always be remembered by our kids and the parish youth group as the priest who took them camping, skiing, and sailing. He not only taught them how to maneuver a tipped boat in the rushing waters of the Boundary Water Canoe area, but later devoted a sermon on humility, patience, and other “learning experiences” incurred while camping with a carload of high-spirited teens.

One summer our family took Fr. Huberty waterskiing at Grandma K’s cabin. It was a time to remember. He ended up rushing to the Emergency Room with a punctured eardrum as a result of a bad spill.

“That was another sermon,” Kari chimed. “He’s gotten plenty of material for his homilies from his experiences with our family—even though he doesn’t mention us by name!”

The kids love him!

Fr. Tollefson, our new associate pastor—in spite of his youthful appearance (I called him “baby priest” the first year he came to our parish)—knows just how to mix a guitar with religious music to keep teens’ attention and interest. A convert to the faith from his college days, his homilies and talks on his love of Catholicism and the priesthood are vibrant and inspiring.

Our teenaged sons Michael, Dominic, and Joseph are more impressed, however, by Father’s openness. “He’s really not afraid to try new situations,” Joseph said. “Father learned how to downhill ski right along with us when we went on the youth group trip! It was pretty fun.”

This mom was just thankful they all returned with no broken bones or stitches!

Fr. Johnson, now working toward his doctorate in Rome, was assigned to our parish for six months as a young seminarian. Each week he would show up at the seventh and eighth grade boys baseball and basketball games—loaded with pop and treats for the kids. Talk about a favorable impression on the kids! He loves to tease young people and, ever the promoter of the priesthood, he especially delights in saying to the boys, “Hey, you’d look great in black! You should think seriously about becoming a priest!”

There isn’t a kid in our school who doesn’t know that Fr. Johnson loves being a priest!

Our children grew up with Fr. Francis Kittock as our pastor. For 27 years, he led our edge-of-the-big-city parish through the ups and downs of the demographic changes which have affected most major cities. His managerial approach and “no nonsense” style led some to suggest he was stern, aloof, or unapproachable.

But to the grade school children at St. Charles, Fr. Kittock was a role model. Children were “top priority” to Father and he made sure they knew it!

When it came time for graduation, Father would take each eighth grader aside individually for a little “talk.” In his own “fatherly” style, he would ask them what their plans were for high school and beyond, and then remind them, “Don’t forget, St. Charles is your home parish. You are always welcome here. I’ll be watching for you and praying for you.” Fr. Kittock has never played cards with our children or taken them camping, but whenever they had a question regarding faith or morals, they would not hesitate to call him. In fact, one of our sons, who served seven years in the military, was sometimes confronted by anti-Catholic arguments on faith. When he was stumped, he reached for the phone and called Fr. Kittock for the answer.

“Fr. Kittock is such a father figure to me,” our daughter Angie (22) says. “He’s authoritative but always gentle and caring. That’s why I always used to jump in his line for Confession! He’s the one I hope will be the priest for my wedding some day!”

In addition to seminarians and priests, we’ve met a few bishops over the years. Not many kids can say they dined with a bishop—but our kids have. The first time they met Bishop Paul Dudley (former Bishop of Sioux Falls, South Dakota), it was after a Saturday evening Mass. “We’re all going out to my favorite place to eat tonight,” Bishop Dudley declared. “Yup, it’s where I take all the visiting dignitaries and it’s my treat—McDonald’s!”

The kids were delighted! As we walked through the fast food chain that evening, balancing our trays heaped with burgers and fries, we could hear Bishop Dudley teasing the teens who worked behind the counter. “Hey, our [basketball] team is ready for you guys next Friday!”

“We’ll see about that, Bishop,” they laughingly retorted! They all knew him.

Now that our children are older, some have become involved in TEC (To Encounter Christ) retreats—again working alongside young, committed priests.

“Guess who was working the TEC retreat?” Kari asked as she burst through the back door. Bishop Dudley—and he is sooooooooo great! He talks to each one of us as if we were the only one in the room! He’s so full of energy and enthusiasm. I can’t believe he’s retired!”

It may be too soon to know if any vocations come from this family, but what I do know is that our children see priests and sisters as happy, healthy, vibrant witnesses who radiate their love of faith as they live out their call.

The priesthood has taken quite a hit recently. A few sinful men have used their priestly positions to abuse youngsters in their charge. As a mother of 13, I can’t imagine the devastation to the victims and families involved. We can only pray for healing and forgiveness.

St. Therese of Lisieux (The Little Flower), the patron saint of missionaries, had a deep devotion and prayed daily for priests.

Bishop Fulton J. Sheen often advised, “if we ever knew how busy the devil is trying to taunt and tempt priests, we would be on our knees praying for their spiritual protection.”

And pray we should. If I might add one more suggestion, don’t wait for your kids to be grown or your home to be perfect, pick up the phone and invite a priest over for dinner! They’d love it and so will you!

Mary Ann Kuharski is a homemaker and mother of 13, six of whom are adopted and of mixed races, most with special needs, the author of several books, and director of PROLIFE ACROSS AMERICA. For more information on Mary Ann’s pro-life work, call (612) 781-0410, or fax (612) 781-5031, or visit www.prolifeacrossamerica.org.

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