Courting Divine Mercy
by Leon Suprenant

Over the years we've developed a simple "family rite" for reconciling our children when one causes some sort of injury to another. The offending party is in "time out" until she is ready to ask for forgiveness. She then goes to her sister and tells her she's sorry. But that's only the first half of the equation. The person who receives the apology is then supposed to say, "I forgive you" and embrace her sister.

This system isn't foolproof. I've heard sensitive little Virginia cry, "I said I was sorry but Abbie won't forgive me." Usually, however, this process facilitates reconciliation. I think the girls have learned the value of repairing family relationships and are quick to seek and offer forgiveness. Obviously the healing of relationships on a very human level "feels good," which makes one wonder why we as individuals, institutions, and even as nations are so slow and inept when it comes to seeking reconciliation. The fracturing and alienation of the human family is one of the most painfully evident effects of original sin. Much can be said about this from a theological, psychological, and even historical perspective, but I think it largely comes down to the fact that we don't want what we deserve. Original sin has wounded our sense of justice. Without what St. Augustine calls tranquillitas ordinis-the "tranquility of order" that is the fruit of justice-peace will continue to give way to discord and violence.

Taking the Fifth

Let me give a few concrete examples of what I mean. This past Christmas season I again saw the movie A Christmas Story. Our hero Ralphie (the kid who wanted the Red Rider BB gun for Christmas) and one of his friends dared another little boy to stick his tongue on a frozen flagpole. The teacher knew who was responsible, but couldn't prove it, so she laid a guilt trip on the entire class in the hope that the two boys would confess. The boys didn't confess, and the narrator (Ralphie as an adult) explained that by the age of 10 he and his friends had already learned that it was always better not to admit to any wrongdoing. The movie, in a humorous way, reflects the truth that most children discover early on that they'll be better off-at least in the short run-if they resist the consequences of their bad actions at home and at school. In many cases, this will lead to lying and other behaviors that are harmful to their relationships and to their spiritual lives.

As a litigation attorney, I often had to prepare clients and witnesses to testify. The three best answers to questions were "yes," "no," and "I don't recall." I would not tolerate dishonesty, but it was my job to teach the witness not to give unnecessary information that could ultimately harm one's case. We tried to avoid testimony that would make the witness vulnerable. Clients who just wanted to say, "I screwed up, but I'm really sorry about it" had to be "reprogrammed." Indeed, in the criminal realm, we have enshrined the right to "keep silent" about our transgressions in the Fifth Amendment. We don't have to testify against ourselves.

I Confess

I'm not suggesting that we change our justice system or that we need in all circumstances to be an "open book" with respect to our weaknesses and failures. Rather, I'm simply suggesting how foreign-and frightening-the idea of candidly acknowledging our personal fault is to men and women today. When we admit to a weakness, mistake, or malicious act, we go through the "Adam and Eve experience" of allowing others to see our nakedness (cf. Gen. 3:10). We expose ourselves to justice in a world that doesn't seem all that forgiving.

This trepidation certainly carries over into our encounter with God, as we grudgingly bring ourselves to consider the eternal ramifications of divine justice. We know we're sinners and, more than that, God knows we're sinners. So why are we put through the terrifying, un-American process of testifying against ourselves in the Sacrament of Confession?

Clearly, the short answer to this question is that it provides us a concrete means of experiencing divine mercy, of hearing Jesus tell us, through the ministry of the priest, "I forgive you. Go in peace." Our sins are not held against us!

The two words I think of when I go to Confession are freedom and confidence. After making a good Confession I truly feel liberated from the control of sin and taste something of the freedom of the children of God that St. Paul writes about (cf. Rom. 8:21). I approach the sacrament confidently, because I know that the Lord is true to His promises, and that the vulnerability that comes from admitting my sins will give way to divine healing and mercy. If you or one of your loved ones has been away from Confession a long time or perhaps has been carrying the burden of a serious sin, I encourage you this Lenten season to go to Confession. If you have any question whatsoever that is keeping you from taking this step, please call us toll-free at (800) MY-FAITH (693-2484).

Experiencing the Lord's mercy in Confession is great, but we can't lose sight of the fact that mercy is a two-way street. As even the Our Father and the Beatitudes provide, we receive mercy to the extent we're willing to give it. As Jim Duffy describes in this issue of Lay Witness, we are called to be ambassadors of mercy and reconciliation to the world (cf. 2 Cor. 5:18-20). This is an integral part of the new evangelization, and I hope that this special issue devoted to divine mercy provides you with encouragement and practical assistance in taking up this challenge from the Holy Father.

I think all of us to some extent can identify with the unforgiving servant (cf. Mt 18:21-35). Even though the King of Kings has forgiven our enormous debt, our fallen nature inclines us not to show the same mercy and generosity to those who owe us. In this parable, Our Lord considers someone who gives in to this inclination "wicked" and He lets that person experience the harsh reality of justice without mercy. That is the reality we create for ourselves if we don't let our experience of divine mercy lead us to "forgive those who trespassed against us."

Justice for All

Forgiveness is not opposed to justice but perfects it by healing the effects of injustice. In his recent message for this year's World Day of Peace, Pope John Paul II affirms that justice must include and in a sense be completed by forgiveness, "which heals and rebuilds troubled human relations from their foundations." For the complete text of this message, call CUF at (800) MY-FAITH (693-2484) or visit the Vatican web site.

I've touched upon the experiences of liberation and well-being that come with being forgiven. But developing the virtue or disposition of soul to forgive is equally liberating-it frees us from the burdens of bitterness and resentment that poison the human family. Again, the Holy Father succinctly captures the mystery and value of forgiveness:

Forgiveness is not a proposal that can be immediately understood or easily accepted; in many ways it is a paradoxical message. Forgiveness in fact always involves an apparent short-term loss for a real long-term gain. Violence is the exact opposite; opting as it does for an apparent short-term gain, it involves a real and permanent loss. Forgiveness may seem like weakness, but it demands great spiritual strength and moral courage, both in granting it and in accepting it. It may seem in some way to diminish us, but in fact it leads us to a fuller and richer humanity, more radiant with the splendor of the Creator.

There's nothing like fostering the virtue of forgiveness that conforms our hearts to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Forgiveness also allows us to practice "spiritual jujitsu"-to turn every perceived injustice into an opportunity for grace. Every time we may be tempted to harbor ill thoughts about someone who has harmed us, let us ask Our Heavenly Father to forgive him or her. Developing this habit may be the best way to prepare ourselves this Lent for the celebration of our Redemption (see Matthew 9:13).

May others not fear coming to the Lord and His Church when they "taste and see" the love and mercy we offer them in Christ Jesus as His ambassadors. And may Our Lord bless you and your family with His peace this Easter and always.

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